“In a room of 100 strangers, seek similarities. In a room of 3 friends, seek differences.”
Popular wisdom warns against creating a bubble of similar friends. You often hear that a more diverse group of opinions and worldviews is better. That you should seek to spend time with people with different values. This advice is overrated and over esteemed.
Instead, when deciding who you work and spend time with you should focus on similarities. Not in surface level traits, but in core values and attitudes. Then once you’ve found those people, you should emphasize differences.
Successful teams look similar from the outside. They have a similar mission, similar values, similar perspective on life, and similar traits that bring them together.
But within the group, the approach they take to reach their common goal is hotly contested. There is beneficial conflict, differences of opinion, and a regular clash of ideas. This emphasis on in group differences allows everyone to learn and to make the best decisions possible.
Successful teams or communities come together because of the deep similarities in their ideal future, but they work well together by emphasizing the differences in how they want to get there.
In this episode:
- The value of friends and partners with deep similarities but profound differences
- When to focus on similarities, when to focus on differences
- The Avengers
- NBA teams compared to society
- Once you find your people, focus on how you can learn from each other
For your free copy of Forward Tilt: An Almanac for Personal Growth go do discoverpraxis.com/forwardtilt